From Dan
I wanted to take a minute to share some of important things I've learned form the book I'm listening to.
In case you haven't noticed, we're living in the middle of a vast emotional, relational, and spiritual crisis that is brutalizing and isolating. Yikes.
- From 1999 to 2019 - Suicide rates are up 33%
- The percentage of Americans who said they have no close friends has quadrupled.
- 54% of Americans reported that no one knows them well.
- 36% of Americans said they felt lonely frequently or almost all the time - including 61% of young adults and 51% of young mothers.
- In 2013 we spent 6.5 hours a week with friends. In 2021 we were spending 2.75 hours a week with friends.
There has been a catastrophic decline in relationships. It just so happens that the thing we need most is relationships. And what do you know, the thing we suck at most is relationships.
When people feel unseen, the shut down socially. They become afraid of the the thing they need most - intimacy with other people. Loneliness makes things cloudy and unclear - it becomes a deceiving filter and makes us more vulnerable to rejection.
When will feel invisible, we fall to pieces. This can turn into bitterness, feelings of being treated unjustly, and eventually a personality of meanness. Do we see meanness in our society? Nah, haven't noticed.
This social breakdown is a crisis of distrust. Two generations ago, nearly 60% of people said strangers could be trusted. By 2014, only 33% did. Only 19% of millennials thought so.
You know some of the reasons why:
- Social Media
- Widening Inequality
- Declining Participation in Community Life
- Declining Spiritual Life
- Rising Populism and Bigotry
- Vicious Demagoguery of regular people from elites and news media
In his book How to Know a Person, the author David Brooks argues there's a deeper issue. But what's deeper?
His theory is that as society we have failed for 50 years to teach the skills and cultivate the desire teach one another with kindness, generosity and respect.
In 1966, nearly 90% of people said their highest goal was to develop a philosophy of life.
In 2018, the Pew Research Center asked Americans what gives them meaning. Only 7% said helping other people. Only 11% said learning was a source of meaning.
Ways we can fix this:
- Restrain the selfishness that lives within us all.
- Help others find purpose.
- Exemplify and constantly improve your own basic emotional skills so you can be kinder, more generous, and respectful.
We ask that you launch your campaign to heal our society at Waterfront Hall this week. And more to come on this book in the weeks to come.
With kindness, generosity, and respect,
Dan
Sources:https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40070350/#:~:text=Results%3A%20Between%201999%20and%202019,increases%20affected%20nearly%20all%20groups.
https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-state-of-american-friendship-change-challenges-and-loss/
https://fortune.com/2017/08/07/loneliness-public-health/
https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2018/11/20/where-americans-find-meaning-in-life/