My screen time was up 25% to 5 hours/day last week. And as I felt the use of my phone spiraling out of control in the wake of Charlie Kirk's murder and the subsequent grotesque public discourse, I did something I heretofore avoided - I downloaded an app to stop myself.

It's called Be Present.

It starts with a very brief questionnaire that asks you about your goals - and it also asks you to report your current screen time numbers. To really drive the point home, the app calculates how much of your life you will spend on your phone if you don't change your habits - mine was 16 years!

It locks down your most used applications according to how many "opens" per day you choose, and sets a time limit on each time you use it - once your reach time limit, it automatically closes the app.

I set mine up for instagram - 5 opens per day at 5 minutes each time for a total limit of 25 minutes.

Instagram (or whatever app you choose) is now grayed out on my home screen - and that alone makes you think twice about opening the app. And then after you click to open, the app will ask you again if you really want to open it and along with a summary of how many times you've opened it that day. See below.

Thanks to this little interruption, I'm noticing a few things about my illness.

I am mindlessly opening Instagram in the following moments:

When I no longer want to work on a problem.
When I'm discomforted about something that has just happened.
When I am starting to feel lonely.

And when I briefly think about a different way to spend this time, I have the urge to call or text someone close to me to seek out connection.

So, based on this emotional reaction, I could conclude that I am losing the time I would otherwise spend in meaningful connection with other people, for a one-sided relationship with an algorithm that is designed specifically to rewire my brain into depending on it, thus creating a payday for technological warlords who sell my attention for advertising dollars.

Those on their death bed near-universally say meaningful, connected relationships were the most important thing they had in their lives and studies have shown including that relationships are paramount to a long and happy life. More important than money, professional success.

These phones and apps are crushing the most meaningful thing we have.

One last personal note:

Thanks to this little change in my behavior, I started writing this newsletter a few days early for the first time in months. And I began to research things that are actually of interest to me - The Esalen Institute and their workshops, James Fadiman, and an essay by Tennessee Williams.

And I paid more attention to the music I love. Here's some recommended listening: "Sugaree" | Grateful Dead | 05/22/1977 | Pembroke Pines, FL

Let's make these tools work for us, instead of being slaves to them and their makers. Have a great week everyone.